To mentor, an act of worship

I don't have anything eloquent to say about the past 5 days. I'm tired emotionally, spiritually, physically. I'll blog one day about the past 5 days but today, in reflecting on my weekend, I wanted to share and reflect what it means to me to be a mentor to me as partially inspired by Romans 12.

It means walking through the good and bad. It means entering their lives, entering the pain, entering the confusion and loving them right through it. It means remaining a faithful presence. It means rejoicing when they rejoice and weeping when they weep. It means loving until it hurts for the sake of the gospel. It means being patient in tribulation, it means rejoicing with HOPE and it means being CONSTANT in prayer.. It means having your heart broken but then looking to the Lord for hope. Mentoring is one of the responses of my heart to the Lord. To me it is an offering to God, an act of worship. To love for the sake of the Gospel, I am compelled only by Christ.

Burdens to Praise

"I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love." - Mother Teresa

The past year of my life has probably been one of the most difficult years by far. Transitioning into a new career, new job, a new state, new city, new region, new culture ......
It was a transformative year without doubt. I remember leaving a patient's room and thinking "man I have to be an adult now, this is a for-real job... darn". I can say with certainty that my life will never be the same. I have learned valuable lessons and my heart has become increasingly burdened for justice, hope and freedom for God's people. It is joy in its purest form to serve my patients and the girls I mentor, but so often I have felt incredibly weighed down, tired... well actually exhausted. PA school was intense but I poured out all my energy academically but what is different is now I consistently am giving not only of my mind/thought but my heart/soul. I often don't feel like I have anything left to give to family or friends...

The past few weeks of my life have been especially hard. My heart literally ached for many different things. I felt a consistent temptation to throw in the towel. I wanted to "take a break" from mentoring, work part time and move to a nice comfortable loft apartment in downtown Charlotte (not that there is anything wrong with that, but it would be completely ignoring the specific calling God laid on my life). My life is so busy, I go, go, go.... I have to force myself to rest. Then when I'm resting.. I'm thinking of how to best manage my patient with emphysema or how to best reach this particular girl, or if I will see victory in sin in my life.... and on and on.

I read that quote from Mother Teresa and it encouraged me in the most incredible way. Loving until it hurts for the sake of more love. To JOYFULLY carry these burdens.
I see so much of God's grace in this past year and even week. Over the past 27 years He has equipped me to do the very thing I'm doing here. He has equipped my mind, heart, and entire being. He has provided some of the most God fearing precious friends to walk with. One of my best friends here is a champion encourager, she has been blessed with this gift and has subsequently encouraged me beyond belief with her words and prayers and yet another friend encourages me with her life, she runs after the Lord with passion and straight up fervor and shares similar burdens which is always sharpening and encouraging. I could write an entire blog post about the beautiful people I share life with actually... (maybe later) but by God's grace I have come to a place in the past day where I desire to turn these burdens to praise. I do it imperfectly as any of my coworkers could attest to as I grumbled about how tired I was at work today........ but what a joy and privilege it is to care for people of this neighborhood and to carry the burden with JOY and thankfulness.

I'll end with lyrics to one of my new favorite songs by Pat Little Band called Jesus, I Lift My Eyes (based on Psalm 17)

Hear O Lord my righteous plea
Listen to my cry
Give ear to my prayer
For it comes
Desperately
In desperate need I come to You
You're my rock
and my strength

Jesus I lift my eyes to the heavens
Where does my help come from
You O my Lord
My heart has a thousand words to say
Please Lord turn burdens into praise

And I in righteousness
I will see Your face
And when I awake
I will be
Satisfied
Satisfied in You

Speak

One of my favorite historical figures is the very man who has about a million streets named after him, Martin Luther King Jr. (FYI Chicago was the first city to do this)

I love reading his speeches. His heart was beautiful and cared deeply for the oppressed and powerless. He loved God, loved his country, loved justice and perhaps most significantly understood the importance of love. On of my professors from PA school just sent me an email with a quote from MLK I had never heard. It was said at a speech given on April 4, 1967, at "a meeting of Clergy and Laity Concerned at Riverside Church in New York City". He was speaking about the war in Vietnam then this quote comes in the context of him saying that because he is a Son of the Living God he has this calling on his life, he states

"This I believe to be the privilege and the burden of all of us who deem ourselves bound by allegiances and loyalties which are broader and deeper than nationalism and which go beyond our nation's self-defined goals and positions"

So he is saying that he is bound to something much deeper than nationalism and as Christians this call is on our life:

"We are called to speak for the weak, for the voiceless, for victims of our nation and for those it calls enemy, for no document from human hands can make these humans any less our brothers."

Sure MLK was not talking about the undocumented immigrants among us. But this truth he proclaims is insanely relevant to our modern day. Lately Ive been studying the Isaiah 58, which part of the passage reads

“If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
with the pointing finger and malicious talk,
¹⁰ and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
and your night will become like the noonday.
¹¹ The LORD will guide you always;
he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail.

I don't write these words with any political agenda, in fact I don't even know who is running for the republican candidacy (that's how out of tune I am with politics). I love republicans, I love democrats, I'm not sure who the tea party people are but I'm sure I'd love them too. I love all the people that aren't even sure what a republican or democrat even is. MLK was very outspoken politically. I try not to be. Politics are complicated. I often see both sides of most arguments. Immigration is tricky. There are more than 2 sides of the proverbial coin. All I'm saying is lets love our fellow man regardless of any papers they may or may not have. Lets seek to humbly fight injustice and do our part in freeing the oppressed.

Copy of the speech
http://www.hartford-hwp.com/archives/45a/058.html

For fun
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_streets_named_after_Martin_Luther_King,_Jr.

Let Hope Rise

I never have an issue with sleeping, actually, I have been known to fall asleep before I even have time to roll over and turn off my lamp. The past two nights I have been up late thinking. Thinking about all sorts of things. As a result, Dunkin Donuts is going to increase their daily revenue by like 2 dollars and some cents tomorrow. Skim milk, one splenda please and thank you.

I keep playing the song "With Everything" by Hillsong over and over again on my computer. Hillsong so appropriately expresses my prayer.

Open our hearts,
To see the things
That make Your heart cry,
To be the church
The You would desire.
Light to be seen.

Break down our pride,
And all the walls
We've built up inside,
Our earthly crowns
And all our desires,
We lay at Your feet.

So let hope rise,
And darkness tremble
In Your holy light,
And every eye will see
Jesus, our God,
Great and mighty to be praised.

I know a lot of you who read my blog aren't sure about Jesus. I get that. I really do. I know a lot of you might get Jesus but not understand suffering and pain. I get that also. I've been there.... I still have unanswered questions but if Jesus really was the son of God.... it should and does change everything... right?

But because I believe He was who he said he was, out of this truth sprouts a hope that can light up darkness. LED super bright style.

Would my heart be extremely sensitive to what makes God's heart cry, would I respond with efforts towards justice and reconciliation.
Would pride fall in my life and out of this broken dam would a mighty current of authenticity flow bringing hope.

Let Hope Rise.
Jesus our God great and might to be praised.
Amen.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSCE8uLuTJY